My Cooking Adventure 9-15-12
I am going to admit to some embarrassing things here for the point of showing how big a deal my cooking adventure was. I don’t cook!! I really really don’t cook! My food is either microwaved, bought already done, delivered, or I pick things to eat that don’t require cooking (apples, carrots, nuts, bread, etc.)
I can list on one hand the things I have cooked from scratch (wait does heating frozen veggies count?) I made meatloaf once but I was heavily supervised. I made soup once but it was also supervised and didn’t turn out like soup, it was yummy but had no broth when it was done so not sure what the fuck to call soup without broth.
Oh well I think you get the point now.
While sitting here I still don’t know what got me all fired up to try this yesterday but I got it in my head and I wasn’t going to stop thinking about it till I tried it. I had to make steak, mashed potatoes and asparagus from scratch by myself!! HAD TOOOOOO!
My first problem: How the hell to get started?!
Off to the Youtube!!! I am sure there has to be videos how there to show me how to do this, if I can watch a cat jump into a TV, learn to apply eye shadow, and how to clean battery acid from a car battery with just water and baking soda youtube can do anything!
First I looked into the steak, hay I’m not dummy, if it looked too hard I was just going to throw in the towel now and get me some cereal. What did I find Chef Gordon Ramsey!!! Well that sure seemed like a good omen. I love that guy I watch all his shows!! Hell’s Kitchen, Master Chef, Hotel Hell, Kitchen Nightmare. Here is the link if you want to try this like I did! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtIiR7DBAqY&list=PL1rPIIQ8mL4PSQrMlgtoRB8y1aNfwbgYd&index=1&feature=plpp_video
Now here are some things he didn’t tell me that I wish I had known!!
- What is that stuff he put all over the steak? I had no idea so just for the hell of it I added garlic salt and pepper…not sure why just seemed like it might have been something I heard on his show in the past.
- THERE ARE 10 billion kind of oil out there! Shit I had no idea what to get so I used veggie oil as that is what I had at home. Humm veggie oil on steak….does that seem odd sounding to you too?
- Then he says something about the pan just starting to smoke WTF that sounds scary so I didn’t wait that long I had crazy images of the house on fire. Smoke = bad….right! So I just waited till the pan was hot.
- NEXT holy fuck beans that hot oil shit shoots every fucking where, and cooking in a tank top was BAD IDEA X 10! Soooooo then as the pan is shooting blindly hot shit I me I screamed like a little girl. BUT I learned something!! I had a kitchen towel with me the whole time, I see the cooks on his show with them, I figured maybe I’d find a use for it. Plus I wash my hands 10 million times (I HATE stuff being on my hands!) well I took that kitchen towel and covered my hand with it then used to tongs to turn the steak when I needed to (yes screaming like a bitch the whole time and cursing lots of cursing)
- BUT a least I leaned not to flip the damn thing to many times as I would have in the past when it doubt flip it over, that was my old motto when cooking the unknown.
- Now some more embarrassing news I was freaking my shit at this point as it was snapping hot oil at me I forgot to time the cooking on each side! Now if you don’t know me that well I TIME EVERYTHING! I have timer apps for everything. I time the laundry, I time my medication, etc. So not timing the steak was unheard of!!!
- Then last but not least the butter he says to add at the end I did it with steak number 1 but not number 2 as I was tired of getting hit with the hot oil!! I can’t see the difference, or taste it! I just can’t get over how easy he makes it look!
HOLY FUCK BEANS I almost forgot how he teaches you how to check the temperature of the meat he tells us to touch the steak WHILE IT IS COOKING OH MY FUCKING GOD IT IS HOT! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Well I screamed like a girl again but I fucking did it!! AND what did I learn…that I am never touching cooking meat again I can tell you that!! It reminded me of the time I would out with my cousins and the car stopping working and we lifted the hood to look under it and realized we had no fucking clue what to look at and we may as well have just left it alone.
- Almost forgot the most important thing I learned was DON’T WASH THE MEAT!!!
Bet you all are thinking well from the sound of it she make a big ass mess and it turned out like shit.
WRONG!! It kicked ass!!!
Now my adventure is being told out of order but this way it makes it easy for me to keep track of what’s what.
When I was looking up how to cook steak on youtube I found how to make mashed potatoes.
Here is the think to make the mashed potatoes
I skipped the way he removed the outside (see the next link to remove the potato skin!) and this video didn’t leave me hanging like the steak video did (but he probably figured we had common sense and I don’t when it comes to cooking.) If you want to remove the skin the way I found from the next video skip to 2:15 in this video. Note that your potatoes have been cooked for 15 minutes in the process to remove the skin.
Once I removed the skin I cut them into pieces like he does in his video
- I tested my potatoes by cutting with a spoon but I SHOULD HAVE TESTED MORE THAN ONE AS some of mine was still hard, but it didn’t make them taste any less good.
- And holy fuck beans I would never add cheese.
- Also I’d like to add don’t worry when you add the milk if it makes it look to thin it works out in the end I swear!
And How to Remove the Skin as I am Lazy
AND IT FUCKING WORKED!!! Gilligan’s Island was then stuck in my head in case you were wondering. Here are the words in case you want to sing along with the voices in my head.
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
The Skipper too,
The millionaire and his wife,
The movie star
The professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligans Isle.
So this is the talel of the castways,
They’re here for a long, long time,
They’ll have to make the best of things,
It’s an uphill climb.
The first mate and the Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make the others comfortable,
In the tropic island nest.
No phone, no lights no motor cars,
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As primative as can be.
So join us here each week my freinds,
You’re sure to get a smile,
From seven stranded castways,
Here on “Gilligan’s Isle.
Here is the last video I watched How to Cook Asparagus
I really liked here she left me with no questions and she seemed really sweet.
Now I do have to also admit that I might now have been so panicked when I was cooking if it had my full concentration but I was playing Hay Day on my ipad at the same time ADD I guess or like my old WOW guild leader said ADHD!
This blog update would have been done sooner but while trying to find the youtube videos to link in here I found a ferret video I had to watch and a kitten and a hamster eating from a tiny picnic table.
Then last night I thought if youtube could teach me too cook I could also fix the calking in the bathroom…let’s just say that didn’t end well! I managed to glue my hands together into fits and when I tried to wash it off it wouldn’t come off. Then after being giving bad advice to wash off the stuff I may have made a poison gas that made me unable to break and pass out and shit but that is a blog update I might ‘forgot to write”. But learn from me don’t mix cleaning stuff together EVER!!
Here is my dinner, and I didn’t have to tip a delivery person!!
I was asked awhile ago by my mother to help her work out the instructions for card game we have been playing together for as far back and I can remember and figured this was a good place to post it so other can play. If you like solitaire and have ever wanted to play it against another person that would be Hand and Foot.
Hand & Foot Card Game <——– here is a .pdf of the instructions you can download
I do not recognize many other from this movie I did like seeing that guy from Valcano and the Drew Carry Show John Carroll Lynch.
There is one thing I have to say something about!! I had a HARD time watching it with the language and no it was not the bad words it was all the racial slurs I can honestly say I have never in my life heard so many at one time and hell for that matter I didn’t even understand most of them! But I understand realism so…and I understand that words are not “bad”…but it really bothered me.
If you can deal with the talk you need to see this movie it was well thought out and I got sucked in and cried (a tiny bit I’m tough you know) at the end.
I just finished this one and I was for the first half of the movie thinking I was going to hate it. I almost stopped it a few times but I am glad I finished it. I am NOT a fan of potty humor, I hate it and there was plenty of it. But it is a kids movies…
I am sure NOBODY is shocked the Jim Carrey acted like Jim Carrey, that covered him he was loud and random and sometime funny!
And wow the Murder She Wrote lady was in this movie that sure took me back!
OH and that guy from the Avengers was in it you know Agent Phil Coulson. Well I liked him better in the Avengers!
So this guys that Jim Carrey plays starts out as a rich bastard cause him daddy ignored him as a kid. And out of the blue his nutty-assed dad sends him a Penguin and due to miscommunication he gets 5 more later on…which turns in to 7…
The longer the movie runs the more insane but in a better for him kind of way and well like these movies always turn out he changes and his family takes him back all caused his loved this animals.
I don’t want to give away any of the movie as that is what I always try NOT to do. But I am glad I saw this movie, but I doubt I will ever watch it again.
And as far as suggesting it to others to watch, I will say this. IF you ever wondered “Hay would I like this movie”, then I would say, yes, but only if you ever even gave it a seconds thought before.
There was Kris Kristofferson who played Whistler in the Blade movies which I LOVED!!
Then there was MORGAN FREEMAN who rocks everything I have ever seen him in!!
Austin Stowell and I don’t have any idea who he was but he was hot!
So the movie is based on true events which is amazing, this dolphin gets washed up on a beach. And it is super fucked up from a crab trap and looses its whole tail which is well bad news!! And how this super shy kids finds her and they bond…geee is this sounds sappy I can’t believe I am even typing this well SHUT UP inner voice despite how this movie sounds when summed up I LOVED THIS MOVIE!
I have my mom watch this, I would buy this, I would watch it if it was on TV. I liked this movie so much I tried to find out more about the dolphin Winter. And I found her, OK she wasn’t exactly hiding in a cave they did spend sever minutes at the end showing the real deal AND how to find her but I DID IT!
Here is the link so you don’t have to trouble THE Google!
THIS IS A LIVE WEBCAM on Winter!! http://www.seewinter.com/winter/media/webcam-3 I have my screens split and I can see her RIGHT NOW!!
Michelle Pfeiffer is pretty kick ass too!!
I was not sure what I was getting myself into when I got this movie for a while I thought it was going to be a haunted house movie, then a murder mystery, then a crazy person movie… I was so lost for the first half of the movie but not in a bad way.
I liked how the two main characters got along, I liked not knowing what was going on, I loved the twists and freak out moments.
I don’t want to say to much about the movie it is dated but only when you look at the big honking cell phone and the even more sad looking PC…AND the sad as hell load time of the web page.
If you like HARRISON FORD,Mysteries, Ghosts, HARRISON FORD,Haunted Houses, HARRISON FORD, or INDIANA JONES well then what are you doing?! Watch the movie now.
I may have to re watch later and see all the stuff I missed now that I know what is going on.
AND HOLY FLIPPITY FLAPPIN MONKEY PANTS!!! INDIANA JONES WAS IN THIS MOVIE!!! HARRISON FORD!!!! Ok that it right there was why I watched this, ok and the title made me go WHAT?! That too but INDIANA JONES done send it to me NOW!
Guess who else was in this that chick who didn’t even get a name for most of the time she was on house she was just a number…which number I can’t remember but her name is Olivia Wide!
AND if that wasn’t enough shocks the kid is the same one from Avatar the Last Air Bender!! Sadly he kicked and flipped 0% of the movie. : (
But this movie kicked some ass!! But sadly there was some naked ass in it but lucky for me not to long.
The aliens looked pretty neat and had some very unique features which made up for their dumbass looking spaceship.
I have not really come up with a rating system so lets just go with this:
You like INDIANA JONES (yes his name is Harrison Ford but I just like to type and say INDIANA JONES!)?
Do you like aliens, neat aliens that jump and bite and do crazy shit and pop out and scare you?
Do you like bad ass Daniel Craig?
Well if you said yes any number of time WATCH THIS MOVIE I am sure glad I did and I am sure I will watch it again a few more times.
I thought this was going to be a zombie movie when I requested this on netflix not sure why but no one single brain muncher in this flick.
I was shocked to see Matt Damon and Gwyneth Paltrow is this movie not sure why but it to me didn’t seem like their type of movie. I have to say when I was watching this on my lunch break while eating a burger in a restaurant I was laughing when I realized others could see what was happening in the movie I was seeing while I ate. At one point Gwyneth Paltrow had the top of her head cut into and the skin flat pulled down over her eyes.
Jude Law was in this as well and I LOVE him from Sherlock with Robert Downey Jr. like A LOT!! But in this movie I found his charter annoying and I sort of wanted to punch him in the mouth.
And Kate Winslet from The Holiday I loved that movie but I am confused on if she was faking the accent on this movie or that one!
Ok so as far as plot and what not I liked how the movie told you as the plague spread how many days has passed and I LOVED the big at the end but I won’t say what it was as you might want to see it.
It was an interesting take and end-of-the-world movie but I have seen a lot of them as they go hand in rotting hand with zombie movies this one wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great either so unless the actors in the movie draw you in like they did me or you like ANY end-of-the-world movies watch this one.
I can’t say I will ever watch it again, even if it was just on TV as background noise I don’t feel like I am sorry I saw it.
No rating deserved though I don’t feel like I can rate it bad or good.
With DLIP in limbo I am still watching movies but have no where to share my silly thoughts on them so I thought HAY MY BLOG would work…right?! I am sure not going to go over the first 30 minutes on my blog posts but I do plan to share a bit here and there what I thought of each movie.